Do you like movies? Sure we all do. And chauffers. We really like chauffers.

knocked up

I feel as though I have spent more of the past week in movie theaters than in my own house. Think that’s an exaggeration? Well, probably so, but I did see a lot of movies. I mentioned in my last post that Indie Boy and I hit Omaha for the opening night of Aqua Teen on Friday the 13th. Two days later, we spent three hours in the Ross watching David Lynch’s latest, Inland Empire. Let me just state for the record, that I am not a Lynch fan. I think he has great visuals and cinematography, and the premises always sound good, but actually watching the films? Pisses me off. Big time. I try, again and again, to little avail. Okay, I did like both The Elephant Man and The Straight Story, but those were pretty atypical films in that they, you know, had actual linear plots. But whatever. Inland Empire was odd and confusing in the first 10 minutes, then was actually pretty interesting for about the next 40. After that? Frustration and confusion. What the hell was up with the rabbit family? Anyway, I digress. The IB liked it, so it was a worthwhile trek. Especially as it’s very likely that he will be forced to sit through the new Die Hard movie when it comes out in June. Come on, there’s a Kevin Smith cameo in the trailer! I have to go, even if it won’t be anywhere near as good as the first (or even the third, which was far, far superior than the travesty that was Die Hard 2: Electric Boogaloo*)

Anyway, back to the multitude of movies this past week. On Wednesday, the Ross had a free preview showing of Knocked Up, which was funny as hell. Seriously, I would definitely pay money to see this when it’s officially released. In June. I’m assuming this was a test screening of some sort (although we didn’t get to fill out cards or anything), and I got a free promo poster (see above) which is now adorning my cubicle at work. And then Friday? Opening night for Hot Fuzz, the new flick from the guys who brought us Shaun of the Dead and Spaced (still criminally unreleased on DVD in the US). Another good one with the funny. Yarp.

In the meantime, I decided that I am in serious need of a chauffer. Not because I’m a spoiled little brat who can’t be bothered with such mundane tasks as operating an automobile, but rather because I’m wondering if I should be trusted with one. Because my current car karma? Not good. First, Thursday evening, I’m off to meet Chris, Scott, Rita, and Raf for dinner at Buzzard Billy’s before heading to the Lied to see David Sedaris (who is even funnier live than in book format). I parked and was busy tinkering with my phone, readjusting my clock, and getting out my smallest denomination of change to account for the whopping 10 minutes I had to feed the meter before they become null at 6, and didn’t realize that my keys were still dangling in the ignition. Until I locked my door behind me. I have been driving for 20 years (thanks Kansas, for starting kids out at 14!), and this is the first time I’ve ever managed this. Scott and Chris were already at the restaurant, and Scott valiantly went home to get his slim jim set to try to pry open my car. Unfortunately, it was an old set and didn’t have instructions for Saturns, and he was unable to get it open. Granted part of this was because he didn’t want to break anything, which I appreciate. So I looked up a random locksmith in the phonebook. And lo! He was already in the area, got there in five minutes, popped it open in less than one, and only charged me $19.00. So I made it to the show on time. Yay!

I figured that this was just a one time snafu, and that my karma was good. Until the next morning, as I was backing out of my garage. Completely forgetting that Indie Boy spent the night. And was parked, well, behind me. Normally I remember to navigate around it. Friday, not so much, as I didn’t think about it until I hit it. (And if anyone makes any snarky comments about women drivers, beware – I will tear your head off. This is my first “accident” in years.) Luckily, it was primarily paint transfer which cleaned right off, with a couple of minor scratches. The IB said he couldn’t even tell where I hit it. So that’s good. I did, however, feel like a complete dumbass for the rest of the day which, combined with the fact that my first petition at work for the day dealt with a reproductive scientist who was currently studying factors in “spontaneous abortions” (because apparently eggheads think that sounds better than “miscarriages”), made for a very long day of attempting not to cry. Oh, did I mention that I took most of the day off last Monday due to an unexpected need to burst into tears? Yeah, I did. So clearly not over that yet. Stupid emotions, wanting me to deal with stuff. Grrrr.

So that’s my life. And I’m off this weekend for California and the Coachella festival. And we’re totally going this time, unlike with SXSW, because I have already shelled out $500 for tix, and Indie Boy has prepaid for our rental car. It will be perfect. It will be awesome.

* That’s just for you, Christian


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